Things that suck

You wanna know what really sucks? Being in a house full of happy (or at least relatively happy) people, and feeling like everything is just pointless. I wanna be a happy person, I really do, but it seems to me that every time I find someone or something that makes me happy I have to give it up or in the end its not what I thought it was. This is not be being "emo" and this sure as hell is not me having a pity party. This is me letting it all out. If I keep all of this sadness inside it will just fester like a wound. In the end I will die of sadness. I don't wanna die, least of all of depression. So you all should remember that, I don't wanna die. I do love being alive. Some times things are awesome and sometimes things are good. But most of the time its whatever. Oh well, C'est la vie!

Been a long time

Yep, It has been a long time since I blogged, but that is about to change starting NOW!!!!!! woohoo!!!

More drama

Once again my post from lastmonth has been brought up. Now there are people, friends of mine, who has asked that there name not be placced in any of my blogs. I totaly respect that. The issue I have is with people who keep bringing the shit up. Why cant we just drop it? I said I was sorry, and trust me I am NOT one to say I'm sorry without meaning it. So to the people who have nothing better to do with there time but cause drama for me, you have a choice to make.... you can drop this whole damn thing, get over it, and act like an adult.... or you can keep looking for ways to start drama, in which case you will be doing noting but makeing yourself look like a fool, because I'm not going to waste my time dealing with your childish ways. This is all I have to say on the matter.

Bloging is what I do.

There are people, whom shall remain nameless, that have told me not to blog about them. This is in regards to my last post, talking about friends. I just reread said post, and the funny thing is, that only 2 names were given, That's my friends Amanda and Corey. The only other person whom a guess about there identity is my room mate. Her name is Zaire. I also forgot to mention my friend Daniel. Now out of respect for most people, I do not bring up there names in blogs. So people just need to calm the fuck down. Blogging is what I do to keep myself calm. Its a way for me to vent my emotions. Anyone that knows me knows I use to have an issue with cutting, and blogging, poems, and tats are the only things I can do to help me deal with the issues. Blogging helps me deal with the public issues that I'm dealing with at the moment. The issues that anyone hear about if they ask the right person. I just vent how I feel about a situation, and most of the time its just a momentary thing that I will get over later. Poems are how I deal with issues from the past, things I will NEVER talk to anyone about, EVER. Its a way to let it out, without anyone having to know that I have gone through some things that would make them view me differently. The last way I deal, tats, is my way of replacing the cutting. It was more than just a way to let emotions out, it also felt good, because no matter how much I write about in blogs or poems, or even talk about, the pain is still there, trapped inside. The physical pain helps me let that out. I'm sorry if anyone is offended by my blogs, but I'm not going to stop. I promise I will never use names, even if your not my friend, I still respect you as a human being, until you stop acting like one.

Real Friends

Sometimes I wounder what It would be like to have real friends..... I mean I have a few friends that are real, you know who you are, but I'm sick of the people that clam to be my friend but act like jerks. I mean college is hard enough with out all the drama! I'm so glad I have people like my room mate and my friends like Corey and Amanda. They are AWESOME!!! But its the people that CLAM to be my friend, but they hurt me. I know some of them care about me, and I know others are under the influence of people that will NEVER be my friend. I wanna be friends with my old friends again, but that may never happen....yeah I know it sucks.

You know what I mean?

Ok so have you ever wanted something so bad that its all you think about? Well thats what im going through right now. There is something I want more than anything in the world, but no matter what I do I cant have it, and it sucks..... its like its the one thing I am not allowed to have...EVER. I think its kinda fucked up.

Part one of True Blood season 2 VS Liveing Dead in Dalass

Now I would like to start by saying I love both the show and the Book and would never give up one for another....but with that said lets get this show on the road...... Issue with the show #1.... WTF????!!!??? I get that Lafayette Is an awsome cheatear and people would be very unhappy to see him dead, and I get that they need add some things to stretch out the storyline a bit, and Im VERY glad that Lafayette is not dead, but WTF how is BT going to get out of this mess with out killing innisent people??? I mean MaryAnne (which was not even the Manads name in the book BTW) was not even THAT big of a deal in the book but the show is building her up to be SOOOOO important. Another issue is Godric (Godfry in the book), They build him up in the show as WAY more than he is...now granted Im SOOOOOO ok with that. Godric is SEXY HOT!!! But the truth of the matter is that it is Stan was the head of the vamps in TX. And they killed HIM!!! WTF???!!!??? Well thats it for today kiddys...gotta leave some for Tue.... comment telling me what you think and fallow all the people whos Twitter links I have Provided, including mine :)