Bloging is what I do.

There are people, whom shall remain nameless, that have told me not to blog about them. This is in regards to my last post, talking about friends. I just reread said post, and the funny thing is, that only 2 names were given, That's my friends Amanda and Corey. The only other person whom a guess about there identity is my room mate. Her name is Zaire. I also forgot to mention my friend Daniel. Now out of respect for most people, I do not bring up there names in blogs. So people just need to calm the fuck down. Blogging is what I do to keep myself calm. Its a way for me to vent my emotions. Anyone that knows me knows I use to have an issue with cutting, and blogging, poems, and tats are the only things I can do to help me deal with the issues. Blogging helps me deal with the public issues that I'm dealing with at the moment. The issues that anyone hear about if they ask the right person. I just vent how I feel about a situation, and most of the time its just a momentary thing that I will get over later. Poems are how I deal with issues from the past, things I will NEVER talk to anyone about, EVER. Its a way to let it out, without anyone having to know that I have gone through some things that would make them view me differently. The last way I deal, tats, is my way of replacing the cutting. It was more than just a way to let emotions out, it also felt good, because no matter how much I write about in blogs or poems, or even talk about, the pain is still there, trapped inside. The physical pain helps me let that out. I'm sorry if anyone is offended by my blogs, but I'm not going to stop. I promise I will never use names, even if your not my friend, I still respect you as a human being, until you stop acting like one.

Real Friends

Sometimes I wounder what It would be like to have real friends..... I mean I have a few friends that are real, you know who you are, but I'm sick of the people that clam to be my friend but act like jerks. I mean college is hard enough with out all the drama! I'm so glad I have people like my room mate and my friends like Corey and Amanda. They are AWESOME!!! But its the people that CLAM to be my friend, but they hurt me. I know some of them care about me, and I know others are under the influence of people that will NEVER be my friend. I wanna be friends with my old friends again, but that may never happen....yeah I know it sucks.

You know what I mean?

Ok so have you ever wanted something so bad that its all you think about? Well thats what im going through right now. There is something I want more than anything in the world, but no matter what I do I cant have it, and it sucks..... its like its the one thing I am not allowed to have...EVER. I think its kinda fucked up.