WOW this is a first.

For the first time in a long time, I'm having a REALLY good day. I mean you would think it would be a bad day, but truth is I feel great! And I don't think there is a lot that could happen that could make my day suck..... but I'm not about to say nothing can make it suck lol, cuz every time I say that someone says of does something that pisses me off or makes me start acting like a bitch for no reason at all. Oh well, I'm not going to think about what could be going wrong, I will keep my head up and keep thinking happy thoughts. I love being happy, and though I may not be as happy as I would like, I will take advantage of it while I can.

so fucking sick of it

You know what really pisses me off? When people want you to be all excited about something they do or say, or something to do with there dumb ass video games, but the second IO do or say something about something I am interesting in, I get called dumb or told that I should not bring up random things. It hurts. It hurts that the only friends i have, i have nothing in common with. Sometimes I hate being me. I know all of my blogs have been really depressing. I have really depressed lately.

"FRIENDS" *cough cough*

You know whats crazy? Sometimes I miss having people to hang out with, but than, I get around my "friends" and someone says something that huts me and makes me cry...... why am I like this? Why cant i think the way most people do? I get defensive over nothing at all and start acting like a total bitch. I cant sing I cant act i cant dance, i cant write poems books stories or anything like that. I just feel like a waste of time space and energy sometimes. I have no clue why I am the way I am.... I hate it, and right now I hate myself.

Songs That remind me of my past

There are a lot of songs that remind me of a darker time in my past. Hear are a two of the main ones.

Iris: The GooGoo Dolls

Scars: Papa Roach

Its true I do care to much. I had a lot of issues when I was younger. Hell I still have issues, but now I have friends to help me deal, and I try to deal with things in a, shall we say, less painful manner. Well, no thats not true. Now I get tats instead of what I use to do. But hell, anything is better than that. ANYTHING.

Crying

You know what really hurts? When the one thing you have fun doing, the one thing that takes your mind off all the fucked up shit, the one thing that has never hurt you or fucked you over, is the one thing your friends tell you you suck at and should never do. I mean I know, I'm acting like a little kid, but how would you feel if you spent $20 on a game for you and your friends to play, and you got ever so NOT kindly informed that you SUCK ASS at it? Now I must point out that the game I got was Lego Rock Band, and the one thing is singing. Now I am ok on drums, but can only do easy, where as with singing I can do almost ANY song on medium. It just hurts, it hurts really bad. I know I should get the fuck over it, but I really don't know if I can.

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